The hand bone's connected to the... spiritual growth.

In part 3 of his series on having a quiet time, Ed Luebe used the Navigator's Hand illustration to describe five key elements of learning from God's Word. (To avoid stepping on the Navigators' toes, I'll simply provide the link to the illustration, but describe some examples of each element we discussed.

Five Elements of Learning from the Word

1. Hearing the Word. (Romans 10:17)
   


• Location: Pinky finger (a.k.a. The little piggy who went "Wee, wee, wee!" all the way home).
• Examples: Hearing a sermon on the radio, listening to Christian music, Pastor Bob's sermons.


2. Reading the Word. (Revelation 1:3)
   
   
   • Location: Ring finger.
   • Example: A "Read the Bible in a Year" plan.


3. Studying the Word. (Acts 17:11)
   
   
   • Location: Right down the middle.
   • Examples: Bible studies, using online resources, commentaries, concordances for greater insight.
   
   
4. Memorize the Word (Psalm 119:9,11)
   
   
   • Location:The index finger (a.k.a. the little piggy who stayed home.)
     
   • Example: Using the Topical Memory System or some other means of memorizing verses.


5. Meditating on the Word (Psalm 1:2-3)
   
   
   • Location: The thumb. Or as Fonzy would say, "Ehhhhh!"
   • Example: Putting verse notecards in prominent places, reexamining and thinking over verses.

In conclusion, Ed pointed out that the thumb (meditation), plays a vital role in helping us grasp tightly to Truth.

We then offered up some ideas for having a quiet time:

• Change it up regularly
• Or, stick with structure!
• Choose a good time for you
• Make it portable (such as on a Smart phone)
• Set a goal (such as reading through the Bible)
• Prepare in advance
• Try the Navigators' 7 Minutes With God

Do you have any tips for spending time with God?

The Wheel Illustration

Tonight Ed continued teaching about quiet times and the disciplines of our Christian life by using the Navigators' Wheel Illustration. Instead of going into detail here, follow the link. It's good stuff.

To make the outside of the wheel (obedience) work, the spokes (prayer, fellowship, time in God's word, and witness) need to be balanced with each other, and connected to the hub (Christ).

Ed's encouragement to us was to avoid over-complicating Christian life. Instead of a laundry list of things to worry about, the wheel illustration is a simple way to check that things are in balance; and if not, a simple way to know what to use to bring your spiritual disciplines back into balance.

Why Even Have a Quiet Time?

In Genesis 1:26-28, God commands mankind to "be fruitful and multiply." God repeats that command to Noah in Genesis 9:1 and 9:5-7.

What, Ed asked us, does that have to do with having a quiet time?

That command is meant in both a physical and a spiritual sense. Obviously, God meant for Adam and Eve to have children and fill the earth with humans. But as Matthew 28:19-20 indicate, we should also have spiritual children. We should "spiritually reproduce."

Just as there might be things that could interfere with physical reproduction, there are analogous conditions that can interfere with spiritual reproduction:

• Just as lack of union between male and female can prevent physical reproduction, lack of unity between a believer and Christ can prevent spiritual reproduction.
• Just as disease or another physical disorder can prevent physical reproduction, living in a state of sin--a spiritual disease--can prevent spiritual reproduction.
• Just as humans cannot physically reproduce if they are too young, believers cannot spiritually reproduce if they are too spiritually immature.

With that in mind, Ed asked us the challenging question: Do we look at the purpose of quiet time as having anything to do with spiritual reproduction? Or do we look at them with a "what's in it for me" attitude?

Based on the NavPress book, Born to Reproduce, Ed gave us the challenge to desire to be a great-grandparent in the faith, rather than a child in the faith. And to do that, we need to invest our lives into another person. The task isn't to influence the entire world at once. It's to find one person (as the Navigators ask, "Where's your man?" or "Where's your woman?") to pour into.

If you're not doing that yet, or looking at the purpose of quiet times as spiritual reproduction, that's no reason to feel guilty. But think about it. Pray about it. And come back next week, as Ed will share more about quiet times.

Your Spouse: Someone You Should Know

Our final guest couple for the "Five Years One Thing" series was planning to share their wisdom with us tonight. But they didn't want to share the flu with us as well, so they will most likely be visiting us on February 8.

Instead of trying to line up another guest at the last minute, we did something a little more interactive. One thing you should know before you've been married for five years is your spouse, so everyone took a quiz on their spouse. Our top scorers were Christian and Lindsay, who were awarded the Marriage Matters Traveling Trophy for their spousal knowledge.

The "How Well Do You Know Your Spouse Quiz":

1. When would your spouse prefer to wake up?
2. Would your spouse say there is a correct way to hang toilet paper? If so, what would they say it is?
3. Who, besides you, is your spouse's best friend?
4. What is your spouse's primary love language?
5. If money were no longer an issue in your lives, what would your spouse do with their days?
6. What is your spouse's favorite movie?
7. What is the last book your spouse finished?
8. What is your spouse's favorite song? If your spouse does not have a favorite song, who is your spouse's favorite band/artist?
9. What food that you cook/prepare does your spouse most like to eat?
10. What is something you do that your spouse wishes you didn't do?
11. What are your spouse's burial preferences?
12. What is your spouse's favorite book of the Bible?
13. Who was your spouse's favorite teacher or professor?
14. What is your spouse's dream date?
15. What is your spouse's dream vacation?
16. How many kids does your spouse want?
17. What do you wear that your spouse wishes you didn't?
18. What is your spouse's favorite sport to watch?
19. What is your spouse's favorite sport to play?
20. How many questions did your spouse get right?
    

And a brief reminder: Marriage Matters will not be meeting as usual on February 1.

Our Story for His Glory

Our guests for the third week of the "Five Years One Thing" series were Randy and Mindy McCright. They had a lot more than one thing to share, but they tied everything together. Each marriage is a story that God can use for His glory.

Randy and Mindy each prepared something separate to share.

Mindy went first. She said that she had learned that if you expecting too much out of your spouse, you will be disappointed, and you will put too much pressure on your spouse to live up to your expectations. It's unfair to your spouse. God is the only one that can fully satisfy us. So, she said, make the Lord your strength.

She also told us about the power of praise to counter expectations, especially her experience with a book called 31 Days of Praise. If you thank God for the good aspects of your spouse, you will be able to stop focusing on their weaknesses. But also, you can thank God for your spouse's weaknesses. God had a purpose in giving your spouse each weakness; your spouse is still wonderfully made!

Randy took the alliterative approach to preparation. His "S words" were

• Servanthood: Your marriage is not about you. Serving your spouse is more important to God.
• Security: There are many kinds of security. Guys, give your wife the security of knowing that you only have eyes for her. That's security that she really desires.
• Sacrifice: God gives us what we need. We can sacrifice the things we want. But we should focus on the fundamentals, the basics, of marriage (things like spending time together, expresing love to each other, and so on.)
• Success: Define success Biblically, not as the world defines it. Relationships are far more important than stuff.
• Sex: All of those other "S words" add up to this. Sex shouldn't be the objective of your marriage. It should be the result of a successful and secure marriage based on servanthood and sacrifice. "After the kids leave the house, what will you do with each other?"

Randy summed this up by saying "It's not what you do, but who you are." For the guys, that means man up. I'm not sure what the catchy phrase for the non-guys is. Your character is far more important than your stuff.

During the Q&A time, Randy and Mindy also shared some great advice. Among the things they shared:

• Have fun. Balance intentionality with spontaneity. [That balance will look different for each couple, but have fun with each other.]
• Establish principles in your marriage. Praying together regularly and asking for forgiveness were two principles that were mentioned.
• Pray "Lord, let us know what we need to know." It can apply to your marriage, to kids, or to any area of your life where you don't quite know everything yet.
  

This was one you really had to be there for. I definitely didn't capture all the information, let alone the fun and the laughter. When class finally wrapped up twenty minutes later than usual, we still wanted to hear more. Many thanks to Randy and Mindy for giving us this time, and for sharing part of the story of your marriage!

If there's anything that caught your ear, or just to continue the discussion, please post it in the comments.

Five Years One Thing #2

In the second week of our "Five Years One Thing" series, Pastor Bob Westfall and his wife Leesa were our guests. They shared their answer to the question, "What's the one thing you wish you had known before your fifth anniversary?" Because of their great wisdom, they actually had more than one thing to share. Their Top 10 list (they actually counted down from ten, so just flip the numbers if you want):

1. Never go to bed angry.
2. Go to bed at the same time.
3. Remember that feelings follow actions.
4. Don't be afraid or embarrassed to tell each other what pleases you.
5. Know each other's love languages.
6. Timing is everything. Learn how to have a fair fight.
7. Agree on a budget.
8. Pray together every day.
9. Don't assume you know what your spouse is thinking, or that they know what you're thinking.
10. Don't take each other or your marriage for granted.

Bob and Leesa also emphasized that Christ is an essential part of a good marriage.

There was also a lot of good information shared during the Q&A (which I didn't take notes on). There was also laughter, and at least one Flying Weenie reference.

So, Bob and Leesa, thanks for spending some time with us. You're welcome back any time!

Five Years One Thing

Tonight we started the "Five Years One Thing" series. Guest couples that have more marriage experience than the rest of us will visit us to answer the question "What's the one thing you wish you had known before your fifth anniversary?" Our guest couples will help us to see a little bit further down the road of marriage, with the wisdom that comes with their perspective and experience.

Our first "guests" were Ed and Christine Luebe. Their "one thing" is the importance of knowing your calling and values as a couple. As a couple it's possible to lose sight of (or even as individuals) your mission (calling) and the things that are most important in your family (your values) as you go through life. Talk with your spouse, decide what your calling and values are, and then write them down. And refer back to what you've written, to make sure you're continuing on the right track.