Respect and Obedience
- Respect is taught by giving your child the chance to act respectful toward another person.
- Ephesians 6:1-3, Colossians 3:20-21
- Genesis 22:1-3: Good example of true obedience:
- Response was immediate
- Response was without question or challenge.
- "Why" can be asked after they obey
- Over time, we can explain "why" - but after
- Response was without complaint
- With God, we can communicate how we feel, but it can't get in the way of obedience
- "We want you to feel free to let us know how you feel - but that does not mean freedom to express that any way you like."
- We can ask questions of our kids, but not in the heat of the moment [I think this had to do with dealing with grudging obedience, but not sure. -ms]
- Response was complete
- Meeting halfway is not good enough
- D&B have seen this as most beneficial in their kids' relationship with Jesus
- It's up to you to pick the standard you expect of your kids
- It's more fair to your kids to be consistent at your chosen standard
- Decide to see babies as welcome additions, not the center of activity
- "How do we incorporate this child into the existing atmosphere?"
- Establish and teach healthy security patterns
- Trust vs Proximity
- Don't translate your emotions to the child (they're simpler than you are)
- Build security based on relationship, not proximity
- e.g. teach the baby that when mom/dad leaves, they come back
- Be careful with phrases like "I'll never leave you" or "I'll always be there for you" - you can't control what might happen (e.g. hit by bus)
- Boundaries are not bad
- They are realistic introductions to the world we live in
- There are natural boundaries and authority structures
- Boundaries aren't restrictive in the negative sense.
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