Simple Truths About Parenting - Session 4

[Matt's notes from the parenting series taught by Don & Blynda. These are mostly unedited from the originals. Please feel free to add clarifications in comments.]

Heart of Your Toddler

• Toddlers do not reason well
• They are literally "not reasonable".
  
• They are not cognitively developed enough to reason
• But they can learn and remember (behavior modification does not affect the heart, but is effective for toddlers)
  
• They don't have to agree to comply
• You can explain reasons later on (maybe years later, probably sometime after the 3rd birthday)
  
• Toddlers like self-rule
• But it's not best for them
• Parents need to bring them to a place of submission to our authority (this is the goal)
• Illustration - a funnel (narrow end facing left, wide end facing right: the width of the funnel (vertical distance) represents boundaries; the horizontal distance represents time). It's a really long funnel (one end is choosing a toy to play with, the other end is something like driving a car). As we see that kids respond in obedience, we open up the boundaries of privilege.
• Success in obedience is motivation for kids to attempt more successes in obedience
• Choice is not always good
• Be careful how many choices you offer your child
• Choice implies authority

Start now identifying the character traits you are aiming for: obedience and respect.

• Now: Obedience is what we're after
• Develop with consistent structure and follow-through

Proverbs 4:23, Proverbs 20:5